When Your Past Is Not Perfect

Consider an example: a home seeker might ask, "Will anyone share their home with me after what's on my record?"

Sometimes it is said with a shrug, as if the answer is already no. It often comes from someone who has been turned away before, sometimes by a form that never let them explain.

From the other side of the table, for example, a home provider might ask a different question: "How do I know who I'm letting in?" Both questions are fair. This post is for both people, and it does not assume either one owes the other a yes.

What to know

Poor credit, a past eviction, or a criminal record keeps some people out of conventional rentals, and some turn to home sharing for that reason¹. The stakes are high. Formerly incarcerated people are nearly 10 times more likely to be homeless than the general public².

Home sharing works differently from renting an apartment. There is no leasing office running a formula. There is a person who owns a home, deciding who will live there, and a person who wants to live there, with a chance to explain. That gives both people room to look at the whole picture.

It also means both people carry real responsibility. A background check, run with the person's written permission, is one tool for getting to know someone. Some home sharing programs, including HomeShare Online, include identity verification and a background check in their process. A check is most useful when it is read carefully, discussed openly, and weighed alongside everything else you learn. It cannot tell you everything about a person.

Whether and how you may consider criminal, credit, and eviction history depends on your state, your city, and your program. A preference is not necessarily lawful just because it is shared privately rather than in a listing. Before you decide what you will and will not consider, read our post "Choosing who lives with you, fairly" and ask your program, a legal aid office, or a local fair housing organization (your Area Agency on Aging or legal aid office can refer you): Do any state or city rules limit how I may use records or credit history when renting a room in my own home? Which fair housing rules apply to choosing who shares my home? Does my program have its own screening policy? HUD's fair housing page explains federal fair housing rights.

Why it exists

For home seekers, the barrier is often an automated rental check that sees a score, not a person. A medical debt from years ago or an eviction during a job loss can follow someone long after life has settled down.

For home providers, it is a reasonable concern about safety and reliability. You are not choosing a resident for an apartment building. You are choosing who sleeps down the hall, and you want to know who that is.

Why it deserves respect

Both concerns are legitimate. A home provider wants to feel safe at home; a home seeker wants to be judged on more than their worst moment.

Neither concern cancels the other. An older adult who asks careful questions is not being unkind, and a home seeker with a complicated past is not asking anyone to be careless. A home provider may still decide a particular arrangement is not right for them, and a home seeker may decide a particular home is not either.

What the evidence tells us

• A background check is a snapshot, not a verdict. A result flagged "consider" can mean a lot of different things, some serious and some minor, such as an old traffic record. Read the details, not only the label at the top.
• Age and time matter. People released at 65 and older have the lowest re-arrest rates of any age group³. How long ago something happened, and what has happened since, is worth asking about.
• Relevance matters. A credit problem may say little about whether someone will be considerate in a shared kitchen. Ask how a past event relates to living together.
• People reveal themselves over time. References and real conversations add information a report cannot.

Ways to lower the barrier

• Home seekers: be honest early. Bring references, such as a former home provider, an employer, a case manager, or a faith leader, and explain what has changed. If you have a record, legal aid may be able to tell you whether any of it can be sealed or expunged.
• Home providers: read every line of a background check, ask about anything flagged, and weigh how long ago it was and how it relates to living together.
• Both: use a written agreement. Consider an initial trial period if permitted and structured appropriately under your local laws. A trial period does not necessarily override tenant or occupancy rights.
• Be fair and consistent. Ask everyone the same questions and apply the same standards, and check with a local fair housing organization (your Area Agency on Aging or legal aid office can refer you) about what applies where you live.
• Get support when it helps. For reentry or recovery, work through a program that supports both people. Home sharing is housing. It is not case management, counseling, or treatment. Trading help around the house for lower rent, or paying someone for help, can create employment, tax, and insurance obligations whether or not anyone intended it, so get advice before either of you agrees to it.

Conversation starters

If you are an adult child or friend raising home sharing with an older adult: - "What would you want to know about someone's past, and what would matter less to you?" - "Would it help if I sat in on the conversation about the background check?" - "If you meet this person and it doesn't feel right, saying no is a fine answer."

If you are an older adult talking with family or caregivers: - "This person was honest with me about their past. Here's what I learned and why I feel comfortable." - "I read the whole background check, and I asked about the part that concerned me." - "I checked with a fair housing organization about what I can and can't consider."

A background check is a snapshot, not a verdict.

Home sharing and older adults

Home sharing works at any age. Older adults are one of the fastest-growing groups sharing a home with someone who is not family⁴. They take part as home providers and as home seekers, and some older home seekers have a credit, eviction, or criminal history of their own.

Last reviewed September 25, 2026