Help Someone Picture Sharing a Home With You

Consider an example: a retired bookkeeper sits down to sign up for home sharing, reaches a box that says "Describe yourself," looks at it for a long minute, and closes the laptop.

If that sounds familiar, you are in good company. Many older adults have never written an online profile, and a blank box asking you to sum yourself up is hard for anyone. It can also feel risky. How much are you supposed to say to people you have never met?

This series walks through it one step at a time. You do not need to be a writer, and you do not need to sell yourself. You need to describe the life you already live, clearly enough that the right person can recognize it, and carefully enough that you stay safe while you do.

What a profile is for

A home sharing profile has one job: help someone picture what it would be like to share a home with you.

That is different from making yourself sound appealing to as many people as possible. If you are quiet, say so. If you love having the grandchildren over on weekends, say that. If you are in bed by 9:30, that is useful information, not a flaw. The goal is not the most attractive profile. It is the most useful one, so that the people who reach out are the people whose way of living fits with yours.

A good profile is also honest, not exhaustive. Being truthful about how you live does not mean telling strangers everything about your health, your money, or your family. Some things belong later in the process, and some never belong online at all.

Why this is different from other profiles

By the time most of us consider sharing a home, we have an established life: routines, a neighborhood, family and friends, a home that works the way we like it, and commitments that fill the week. OurTime, a dating site for people over 50, makes a point that carries over well: at this stage, a new person "gets added to that; it does not replace it"¹.

Home sharing is not dating. But the core question is similar. It is not "Could we build a new life together?" It is "Would this person fit comfortably into the life I already have, and would I fit into theirs?" That is true whether you are the home provider opening a room or the home seeker moving in.

Four things a good profile covers

• You: your routines, your interests, and your pace.
• Your home: what living there actually feels like, day to day. (If you are the home seeker, this becomes the kind of home you hope to find.)
• How you live with others: privacy, conversation, meals, guests, pets, and how tidy you like shared spaces.
• What would fit well: the household habits that would make sharing comfortable for you.

Start with questions, not a blank page

People are much better at describing what they do than at labeling themselves. So instead of "Describe yourself," start with questions like these. Answer them out loud to someone, or jot notes on paper. You can shape them into a profile later.

• Think about a typical Saturday. What time do you get up? What do you do during the day? Are you mostly home or out? What does the evening look like?
• Do you enjoy talking with someone when you get home, or do you prefer quiet time?
• Do you usually cook? Would you enjoy the occasional shared meal, or keep meals separate?
• How often do friends or family visit?
• What role do pets play in your life?
• After cooking, do you clean the kitchen right away, later that evening, or the next morning?
• Think about people you have enjoyed living with before. What made it work?

There are no right answers. A person who wants a quiet home is not better than someone who loves having friends over. Someone who wants to eat dinner together is not better than someone who wants more privacy. Your answers simply help you find someone whose way of living works with yours.

Staying safe as you get to know someone

Every post in this series comes back to safety, because a profile is the first thing a stranger learns about you. Here is the short version.

Keep these off your profile. Your address or anything that points to it, the fact that you live alone, when your house is empty, the exact places you go and when, travel dates, health conditions, money matters, and details about your family. One test works for every sentence: does this help someone picture living with me, or does it help someone find me? Our guide "Honest, not everything: what stays off your profile" goes through the full list.

Get to know someone in steps. Each step lets you learn a little more before you share a little more.

1. Exchange messages through the site where you found each other, using your first name.
2. Talk on the phone.
3. Have a video call, so you can see that the person matches their photos.
4. Meet in a public place during the day, for an hour or less.
5. Meet again if you both want to, this time with your support person.
6. Only then, visit the home, with your support person there.
7. Before anyone signs or moves in: identity verification, a background check run with the person's written permission, references you call yourself, and a written agreement.

You can stop at any step, for any reason. "I don't think we're the right fit, but thank you for your time" is a complete answer.

Meet somewhere public. A library, a coffee shop, a senior center, a community center, or a restaurant at lunchtime all work well. Choose a place you know, with staff and other people around. Get yourself there and home again on your own, not in the other person's car. AARP's guide for people over 50 recommends meeting in public and keeping first meetings to under an hour².

Bring your own support person. HomeShare Online does not send staff to meetings or home visits, so plan who will be with you. Ask a family member, friend, or neighbor you trust. Tell them who you are meeting, where, and when, and call them afterward. For the home visit, have them there in person.

Know the warning signs. Pause and talk it over with your support person if someone:

• asks you for money, a loan, or help with an emergency, however convincing the story
• sends a check for more than they owe and asks you to send back the difference³
• wants to pay or be paid by wire transfer, gift card, or cryptocurrency
• pushes to move the conversation off the site quickly, or always has a reason they cannot talk by video or meet⁴
• asks whether you live alone, when you are away, or where you keep things
• asks for your Social Security number or bank details before you have both decided to move ahead
• hurries you, asks you to skip a step, or suggests you keep it from your family

The posts in this series

1. Help someone picture sharing a home with you (this guide)
2. Start with an ordinary Saturday
3. Say what you do, not what you are
4. Describe the fit, not the perfect person
5. Photos that tell the truth and keep your address private
6. Honest, not everything: what stays off your profile
7. Ask someone who knows you to read it
8. From profile to front door, one step at a time
9. Writing your profile when you are the one moving in

Where these ideas come from

We did not invent this approach from scratch. It adapts profile advice from sites and guides written for people over 50, including SilverSingles, OurTime, and AARP's 2026 Smart Guide to Dating Over 50. Their common advice is to be honest, be specific, know what matters to you, and pay attention to how two lives fit together day to day. We took those principles and redesigned them around sharing a household rather than a romance.

Conversation starters

If you are an adult child or friend helping an older adult with a profile:

• "Walk me through a normal Saturday for you. I'll take notes."
• "What would someone living with you notice first about your day?"
• "Let's read it together when it's done, and look for anything that says too much."

If you are an older adult asking for help:

• "I don't want to write about myself. Would you ask me some questions and write down what I say?"
• "Would you read this and tell me if it sounds like me?"
• "If I meet someone, would you come with me?"

The goal is not the most attractive profile. It is the most useful one.

Last reviewed September 26, 2026