Ask Someone Who Knows You to Read It

Consider an example: a man reads his finished profile to his sister over the phone. She laughs and says, "You forgot to mention that you play the trumpet every evening." He had not thought of it once. Anyone who lived with him would think of it daily.

It is hard to see our own habits clearly. The things we do every day become invisible to us, and the things we worry about can loom larger than they should. Someone who knows you well can help with both. SilverSingles, a dating site for people over 50, reminds members to check their profile before posting¹. A trusted reader can check for much more than spelling.

Who to ask

Choose someone who knows your daily life, not just your history: a friend you see often, a sibling, an adult child, or a neighbor you trust. The best reader is someone who:

• will tell you the truth kindly;
• respects your decision to explore home sharing, even if they have questions about it; and
• might also be willing to be your support person when you start meeting people.

If a family member is worried about home sharing, asking them to read your profile can help. It shows them how carefully you are approaching it. Our guide "When your family worries" has more on those conversations.

Three questions to ask your reader

1. "If you read this without my name on it, would you know it was me?" If the answer is no, ask what is missing or what sounds unlike you.
2. "Is there anything important about living with me that I left out?" The trumpet, the early alarm, the dog who barks at the mail carrier, the fact that you talk back to the television. Small daily things matter most in a shared home.
3. "Is there anything here that tells a stranger too much?" Ask them to circle anything that points to where you live, when your house is empty, your health, your money, or your family.

If writing is not your thing, let them interview you

You do not have to write your profile yourself. Ask your reader to sit down with you and ask the questions from "Start with an ordinary Saturday," then write down what you say, in your words. Afterward, read it together and fix anything that does not sound right. A quick check for spelling helps, too.

You keep the final say

A reader's job is to help you see your profile clearly, not to rewrite you. If they suggest changing something and you disagree, it is your profile and your home. The one place to take their advice seriously is privacy: if they think something says too much, it usually costs nothing to leave it out.

Staying safe as you get to know someone

The person who reads your profile is often the best person to stand beside you through the next steps too. HomeShare Online does not send staff to meetings or home visits, so a trusted reader who is also your support person is worth a great deal.

Keep these off your profile. Your address or anything that points to it, the fact that you live alone, when your house is empty, the exact places you go and when, travel dates, health conditions, money matters, and details about your family. One test works for every sentence: does this help someone picture living with me, or does it help someone find me? Our guide "Honest, not everything: what stays off your profile" goes through the full list.

Get to know someone in steps. Each step lets you learn a little more before you share a little more.

1. Exchange messages through the site where you found each other, using your first name.
2. Talk on the phone.
3. Have a video call, so you can see that the person matches their photos.
4. Meet in a public place during the day, for an hour or less.
5. Meet again if you both want to, this time with your support person.
6. Only then, visit the home, with your support person there.
7. Before anyone signs or moves in: identity verification, a background check run with the person's written permission, references you call yourself, and a written agreement.

You can stop at any step, for any reason. "I don't think we're the right fit, but thank you for your time" is a complete answer.

Meet somewhere public. A library, a coffee shop, a senior center, a community center, or a restaurant at lunchtime all work well. Choose a place you know, with staff and other people around. Get yourself there and home again on your own, not in the other person's car. AARP's guide for people over 50 recommends meeting in public and keeping first meetings to under an hour².

Bring your own support person. HomeShare Online does not send staff to meetings or home visits, so plan who will be with you. Ask a family member, friend, or neighbor you trust. Tell them who you are meeting, where, and when, and call them afterward. For the home visit, have them there in person.

Know the warning signs. Pause and talk it over with your support person if someone:

• asks you for money, a loan, or help with an emergency, however convincing the story
• sends a check for more than they owe and asks you to send back the difference³
• wants to pay or be paid by wire transfer, gift card, or cryptocurrency
• pushes to move the conversation off the site quickly, or always has a reason they cannot talk by video or meet⁴
• asks whether you live alone, when you are away, or where you keep things
• asks for your Social Security number or bank details before you have both decided to move ahead
• hurries you, asks you to skip a step, or suggests you keep it from your family

Conversation starters

If you are the one asked to read a profile:

• "This sounds like you. I'd add that you're up before the sun."
• "I'd take out the part about your trip in May. That can wait."
• "When you start meeting people, would you like me to come along?"

If you are an older adult asking for a reader:

• "Would you read my profile and tell me honestly if it sounds like me?"
• "Please circle anything that says too much about where I'll be."
• "Would you be my person for the first meeting?"

If you read this without my name on it, would you know it was me?

Last reviewed September 26, 2026