Honest, Not Everything: What Stays Off Your Profile

Consider an example: a widower writes, "Since my wife passed in March, the house has felt so empty. I'm home alone most days and could use the rent to keep up with the property taxes." Every word is honest. Every sentence also tells a stranger something they should not know yet.

Honesty is the foundation of a good profile. But honesty does not mean telling strangers everything. SilverSingles, a dating site for people over 50, puts it well: be honest, but do not "share too much too soon." Offer a snapshot built on a few key things, not your whole life story¹.

This guide covers what to leave off your profile and why, and when it becomes safe to share more.

Why this matters, even on a secure site

A home sharing site with messaging, identity verification, and background checks, like HomeShare Online, is safer than a public listing. But no site can control what you choose to write. Your profile is read by people you have not met, before you have had a chance to get to know them, and anything you post can be copied or saved.

Older adults are also targeted. People 60 and older filed about one in five internet crime complaints in 2025 but lost $7.7 billion, more than a third of all reported losses². Scammers on dating sites work by learning about a person and building trust, then asking for money³. The same approach can show up anywhere people meet online, including home sharing. The less a profile tells them, the less they have to work with.

The one test

Read every sentence and ask: does this help someone picture living with me, or does it help someone find me, or take advantage of me?

"I'm an early riser and love to garden" passes. "I'm out at the community garden plot on Elm Street every morning from 7 to 9" does not. The first tells a possible match about your household. The second tells a stranger where you will be and when your house is empty.

What stays off your profile

• Your address, or anything that points to it: your street, cross streets, neighborhood landmarks, house number, or a photo of the outside of your home. A general area, such as the part of town, is usually enough.
• That you live alone, or when the house is empty. A home provider sharing a room may be living alone now; your profile does not need to say so.
• Your exact schedule and places: which park, which service, which gym, which days and times.
• Travel plans: when you will be away and for how long.
• Money: your income, savings, investments, whether your home is paid off, and money worries. Rent and what it covers belong in the listing. Your finances do not.
• Health: diagnoses, medications, memory concerns, and mobility limits. If something affects the household, such as stairs you no longer use, you can mention the practical part and discuss the rest later.
• Grief and hard times: how recently you lost a spouse or partner, a divorce, or loneliness. Scams often target people who have recently lost a spouse. You can share these parts of your story with someone you have come to know.
• Family details: grandchildren's names and schools, where your children live, and family conflicts.
• Valuables and security: collections, jewelry, firearms, where you keep keys, and your alarm system.
• Answers to security questions: your birth date, your mother's maiden name, your pet's name, the street you grew up on, and your high school. These are often used to reset passwords.
• Contact details and ID numbers: your full name, phone number, and email until you are ready, and your Social Security number and bank details never, on a profile or in a message.

What to share, and when

Keeping things off your profile does not mean keeping them secret forever. It means sharing them as trust is earned. A rough guide:

• On your profile: your routines, your interests, what your home is like, how you like to live with others, and your must-haves.
• In early messages and calls: your first name, the general area, more about your days, and the questions that matter most to you.
• After meeting in public: your phone number, if you have not already shared it, and more of your story if you choose.
• At the home visit: your address, with your support person there.
• During screening, once you both want to move ahead: the information needed for identity verification and a background check, given through the formal process, not in a casual message. The FTC notes that a landlord does not need your Social Security number until you have agreed to rent⁴.
• Never, to anyone you share a home with: your bank passwords, PINs, or account access.

Staying safe as you get to know someone

A careful profile is the first step. The next steps happen as people start reaching out.

Get to know someone in steps. Each step lets you learn a little more before you share a little more.

1. Exchange messages through the site where you found each other, using your first name.
2. Talk on the phone.
3. Have a video call, so you can see that the person matches their photos.
4. Meet in a public place during the day, for an hour or less.
5. Meet again if you both want to, this time with your support person.
6. Only then, visit the home, with your support person there.
7. Before anyone signs or moves in: identity verification, a background check run with the person's written permission, references you call yourself, and a written agreement.

You can stop at any step, for any reason. "I don't think we're the right fit, but thank you for your time" is a complete answer.

Meet somewhere public. A library, a coffee shop, a senior center, a community center, or a restaurant at lunchtime all work well. Choose a place you know, with staff and other people around. Get yourself there and home again on your own, not in the other person's car. AARP's guide for people over 50 recommends meeting in public and keeping first meetings to under an hour⁵.

Bring your own support person. HomeShare Online does not send staff to meetings or home visits, so plan who will be with you. Ask a family member, friend, or neighbor you trust. Tell them who you are meeting, where, and when, and call them afterward. For the home visit, have them there in person.

Know the warning signs. Pause and talk it over with your support person if someone:

• asks you for money, a loan, or help with an emergency, however convincing the story
• sends a check for more than they owe and asks you to send back the difference⁶
• wants to pay or be paid by wire transfer, gift card, or cryptocurrency
• pushes to move the conversation off the site quickly, or always has a reason they cannot talk by video or meet³
• asks whether you live alone, when you are away, or where you keep things
• asks for your Social Security number or bank details before you have both decided to move ahead
• hurries you, asks you to skip a step, or suggests you keep it from your family

Conversation starters

If you are an adult child or friend reviewing a profile:

• "This line says you're home alone most days. Could we say you enjoy quiet days instead?"
• "Let's take out the name of the park and the times."
• "You don't have to explain why you're doing this. That can come later."

If you are an older adult talking with family or friends:

• "I want to be honest without telling strangers my business."
• "Would you read this and circle anything that helps someone find me?"
• "If someone asks me for money, I'm going to call you before I do anything."

A good profile is honest, not exhaustive.

Last reviewed September 26, 2026