Writing Your Profile When You Are the One Moving In

Consider an example: a retired school librarian, 67, whose rent has gone up again, starts a profile and writes, "Responsible, quiet, no problems." Then she stops. It is all true, and it tells a home provider almost nothing.

If you are looking for a room, your profile has the same job as a home provider's: help someone picture sharing a home with you. The difference is that you are asking to join a household that already exists. A home provider is reading to answer one question: would this person fit comfortably into my home and my days? This guide, like the others on this shelf, applies to home seekers of any age. Many home seekers are older adults themselves.

Start with your ordinary weekday

Instead of describing yourself, describe a typical day. For home seekers, the weekday often matters most, because it tells a home provider when you will be home, when you will use the kitchen, and how busy the house will feel.

• Do you work, volunteer, study, or care for someone? Roughly what hours?
• Are you usually up early or late? When do you turn in?
• Do you cook most meals, or eat simply?
• How do you spend evenings and weekends? Mostly at home or out?
• How often do friends or family visit, and would you rather see them elsewhere?

Then turn your answers into a few specific sentences. For example: "I work days and I'm usually home by 6. I cook simple dinners and clean up right after. Evenings, I read or do crossword puzzles, and I'm usually asleep by 10. My daughter and I have lunch out most weekends."

As with any profile, describe your patterns, not your schedule or your places. "I work days at a clinic" is plenty. The name of your employer, your exact shift, and where you go on weekends can wait until you have met someone. Our guide "Start with an ordinary Saturday" explains this rule.

What you would bring to the household

A home provider wants to know what you would add to daily life, and what you would need. Be specific and honest:

• Pets: what kind, how old, and how they behave.
• A car: whether you need a parking spot.
• Belongings: whether you would move in with a bedroom's worth of things or more.
• Company: whether you would enjoy the occasional shared meal or conversation, or mostly keep to yourself.
• Help around the house: if you would like to offer help, such as taking out the trash or shoveling snow, say what you can realistically do. Help around the house is not caregiving, and it should be agreed on clearly. Our guide "Help around the house is not caregiving" explains the difference.

Describe the home that would suit you

Describe the household habits you would live best with, not the person you hope to find. "I'd be most comfortable in a fairly quiet home where shared spaces stay tidy and there's room for my small, calm dog" is more useful than a list of don'ts. If something is a true must-have, such as a smoke-free home or a first-floor room, say it once, plainly.

What stays private

You are sharing your profile with people you have not met yet, including some who may not be who they say they are. Leave off:

• your current address, or anything that points to it
• your employer's name and your exact shifts
• your income, savings, debts, and credit history (these come up in screening, through a formal process)
• health conditions and medications
• the private reasons you are moving, such as a divorce, a loss, or a housing crisis; you can share your story later, with someone you trust
• your Social Security number and bank details, which you should never put in a profile or message

The FTC notes that a landlord does not need your Social Security number until you have agreed to rent¹.

Watch for rooms that are not what they seem

Home seekers are targets for rental scams. According to the FTC, warning signs include¹:

• a request for a deposit, application fee, or rent before you have seen the room in person
• a home provider who is "out of the country" or always has a reason they cannot show the home
• rent much lower than similar rooms in the area
• pressure to decide quickly
• a request to pay by wire transfer, gift card, or cryptocurrency

Never pay anything until you have met the home provider, seen the room in person, and you both have agreed to move ahead in writing.

Staying safe as you get to know someone

The same steps protect home seekers and home providers alike. You are also going into someone else's home, so do not skip them.

1. Exchange messages through the site where you found each other, using your first name.
2. Talk on the phone.
3. Have a video call, so you can see that the person matches their photos.
4. Meet in a public place during the day, such as a library, coffee shop, or community center, for an hour or less.
5. Meet again if you both want to, this time with your support person.
6. Visit the home with your support person there.
7. Before signing or paying anything: identity verification, a background check, references you call yourself, and a written agreement.

Bring your own support person. HomeShare Online does not send staff to meetings or home visits, so ask a family member or friend you trust to come with you, especially to the home visit. Tell them who you are meeting, where, and when, and call them afterward. Get yourself there and home again on your own.

Other warning signs. Pause and talk it over with your support person if someone asks you for money for any reason other than agreed rent, sends a check for more than they owe and asks you to return the difference², pushes to move the conversation off the site quickly, asks for your Social Security number or bank details early, or wants you to skip a step.

You can stop at any step, for any reason. "Thank you, but I don't think it's the right fit for me" is a complete answer.

Conversation starters

If you are a family member or friend helping a home seeker:

• "Walk me through your weekday. What would the person you live with notice?"
• "I'd like to come with you when you see the room."
• "Don't send any money until we've both seen the place."

If you are a home seeker talking with a home provider:

• "Could you tell me about an ordinary day in your home?"
• "Where would you enjoy some company, and where do you like your own space?"
• "I'd like to bring a friend when I see the room. Is that all right?"

Never pay anything until you have met the home provider and seen the room in person.

Where these ideas come from

This series adapts profile advice from sites and guides written for people over 50, including SilverSingles, OurTime, and AARP, redesigned around sharing a household rather than a romance.

Last reviewed September 26, 2026