Ending a Match Well: When It Is Time to Move On

Here is an example. After two good years, the home seeker is offered a job in another city. She is excited, and she dreads telling the home provider, who has become a friend. The home provider, for his part, is happy for her, a little sad, and quietly worried about the bills and about starting over with someone new.

Most talk about ending a home share focuses on the hard cases. Our guides "What if I Can't Get Them Out?" and "Protecting the Person Who Moves In" cover the legal side of ending a match, including notice and what the law may require. This guide is about the far more common case: a match that ends because life moves on, and how to end it well.

Many matches end for good reasons

A new job, a return to school, a new relationship, a move closer to family, a change in health, or simply a sense that it is time. A match that ends with fair notice and good will is not a failure. It did what it was meant to do for as long as both people needed it.

Raise it early

As soon as you know a change is likely, say so, even if the date is not settled. "I have applied for a job in Denver, and I wanted you to hear it from me" gives the other person time to plan. For a home provider, that may mean budgeting for a gap in rent. For a home seeker, it may mean looking for the next place to live.

If you are the home provider and your own plans are changing, such as a move to be near family or to assisted living, the same courtesy applies, and it matters even more. Finding a new place to live takes time, especially for a home seeker on a tight budget.

Giving notice

• Follow your agreement and the law where you live. Your agreement should say how much notice each person gives. The law in your state or city may require a minimum, and that minimum applies even if your agreement says less.
• Give more than the minimum when you can. Extra time is one of the kindest things you can offer.
• Put the date in writing. A short, dated note that you both sign avoids any confusion about the last day.
• Agree on showings. If the home provider wants to meet possible new home seekers while the current one still lives there, agree on times and on keeping their room private.

The last month: a checklist

• Walk through the home together, using your move-in notes and photos, and agree on anything that needs fixing or cleaning.
• Settle the last rent and shared bills, including utilities that arrive after the move. Write down what was agreed.
• Return any deposit as your agreement and your state's law require, with a written list of any deductions.
• Return every key, and change door codes, garage codes, and the Wi-Fi password if you like.
• Untangle shared accounts, such as streaming services, a grocery delivery account, or a shared calendar.
• Update addresses. The person moving should update the post office, their bank, and benefit programs such as Social Security, Medicare, or SNAP, and anyone else who sends them mail.
• Update emergency contacts. If you listed each other with a doctor, a pharmacy, or a building manager, change it.
• Tell your program, if you matched through one.

Saying goodbye

How a match ends is how both people will remember it. A few ways to end on a good note:

• Offer a reference. A short letter or a promise to take a phone call helps a home seeker find their next home and a home provider find their next match.
• Mark the moment. A last dinner, a card, or a walk around the neighborhood.
• Stay in touch if you both want to. Some matches become lasting friendships. Others end warmly and completely. Either is fine.

Before your next match

Take a little time before starting again. Ask yourself what worked and what you would change: in your profile, in your agreement, in the questions you asked. If you are a home provider, it is fine to take a break and enjoy the house to yourself for a while. If money makes a gap hard, BenefitsCheckUp can show programs that may help with household costs in the meantime.

A match that ends with fair notice and good will is not a failure. It did what it was meant to do.

Last reviewed September 28, 2026