Two Generations Moving In

Some grandparents and other relatives are raising children, and some of them need more room than they can find or afford. Some older homeowners have bedrooms they no longer use and would enjoy a busier household. For some households, sharing across generations can create housing that works for everyone involved.

It is also one of the more complex home sharing arrangements. It brings children, custody questions, unrelated adults living with children, a rental relationship, background checks, childcare boundaries, and benefits rules into one house. That is why it belongs with a program that works with grandfamilies.

The home provider is not rescuing a family, and the grandfamily is not there to fill a quiet house. Neither person is the solution to the other's problem. Each has something the other may value. If raising children, or being around them, is meaningful to you, home sharing can be one way to put that experience to use. It is not an obligation, and deciding a household with children is not for you is a fine decision.

Why this matters

In 2021, about 2.1 million grandparents were responsible for the basic care of grandchildren living with them¹.

What it can look like

Longevity Ready Maryland reports that grandfamilies were a notable group of home seekers in its programs, and that some home providers were former educators. Any help with homework is a choice, not part of the housing arrangement.

Here is an illustrative example, a composite and not a real match. A retired music teacher, 71, has a four-bedroom house near an elementary school. Through a program working with a local kinship support organization, she is matched with a grandfather, 63, who is raising his two grandsons. He pays rent and handles the yard. The boys sometimes practice on her piano after school, because they asked to. The agreement says plainly that she is not the babysitter, and that the grandfather is responsible for the children.

Some grandfamilies are home providers, too, sharing a spare room with an older adult. The same safeguards apply.

What to know first

Go through a kinship partner. This arrangement is materially more complex than matching two adults. Work with a home sharing program that matches households with children, together with a kinship or grandfamilies organization that provides support and case management.

Custody and legal authority. Find out who has legal authority for the children and what paperwork exists, such as guardianship or custody orders. If a child welfare agency is involved, ask it whether a move or new adults in the home need its approval. Custody can change, and a parent may return.

Every adult gets checked, on both sides. All adults in the home, including the home provider, should go through the program's background check and interviews. The grandparent is deciding who the children will live with.

Roles stay clear. Home sharing is housing. It is not caregiving, childcare, case management, or counseling. Trading help around the house for lower rent, or paying someone for help, can create employment, tax, and insurance obligations whether or not anyone intended it, so get advice before either of you agrees to it. The home provider is not a guardian, tutor, or babysitter, and any regular childcare is a separate arrangement, never a condition of the room. Talk honestly about quiet hours, shared spaces, and what the children may and may not touch.

Familial status is a fair housing issue. Families with children are protected under federal fair housing law². Wanting to live with, or without, children can raise fair housing questions, and a preference is not necessarily lawful just because it is shared privately rather than in a listing. Before you describe the person or household you hope to share with, read our post "Choosing who lives with you, fairly" and talk with your program or a local fair housing organization. Describing the home in a listing ("large backyard near a school") is good practice, though it does not settle the legal question.

Benefits depend on the program. Rent or a larger household can affect benefits for either household, depending on your state and programs. Here is what to ask: Will moving change the children's benefits, such as TANF, SNAP, or Medicaid? Does rent income affect my own benefits or housing assistance? Does a change of address affect any kinship guardianship assistance or child welfare payments? Ask the kinship partner, your benefits office, or your caseworker.

Plan for the unexpected. Put a plan for a fair exit in writing so the children are not caught in the middle. Your agreement can say how much notice each of you will give. That is a promise between the two of you. It does not replace any notice your state or city law requires, and the law may require more.

How to get started

1. Find a kinship partner. The Grandfamilies and Kinship Support Network and the Eldercare Locator, 1-800-677-1116, can point you to kinship programs near you.
2. Ask a home sharing program whether it matches households with children, and whether it works with a kinship partner.
3. Ask the partner: Who checks every adult? What approvals are needed for the children? How do we handle a custody change?
4. Meet more than once, including at least one visit with the children.

Conversation starters

If you are an adult child or friend raising home sharing with an older adult:

• "You have rooms you don't use. Would you be open to a household with children, or would that be too much?"
• "The program checks every adult, and the agreement would spell out that you're not the babysitter."
• "If we look into it and it is not for you, that is a fine answer."

If you are an older adult talking with family or caregivers:

• "I'm raising the kids now, and we need more room. I want to do this through a program so it's done right."
• "I'm not signing up to be a babysitter. I'm offering a home."
• "We'd put the rules in writing, including what happens if custody changes. If it doesn't feel right, we won't do it."

For some households, sharing across generations can create housing that works for everyone involved.

Home sharing and older adults

Home sharing works at any age. Older adults are one of the fastest-growing groups sharing a home with someone who is not family³.

Last reviewed September 25, 2026