Mention home sharing to almost anyone and the first thing you will hear is some version of the same worry: "I'm not going to move in with a stranger." It is a fair thing to say. It is also not what home sharing is. The idea of letting a room is very old. The way two people find each other today is not, and by the time anyone moves in, neither of them is a stranger.

Your grandparents knew this one

For most of American history, sharing a room in the home you owned was ordinary. In 1900, roughly one household in ten let a room. There was no agency and no application. A family that had a spare room and needed the money let it out, and that is how a great many people held on to their homes.

James Beard, the most famous cook Oregon ever produced, grew up in a Portland house full of boarders. Nobody thought it was remarkable. We told that story in What Your Grandparents Already Knew.

Then, over the twentieth century, it very nearly disappeared. Social Security, pensions, Medicare and home loans gave people other ways to get by, and in many cities zoning restricted boarding houses outright. Sharing became something you did only if you had no better option.

And now it is coming back

Our new research, A Tradition Remembered, traced home sharing through every census from 1880 to today, in every state. The line fell for most of the last century. Since 2005 it has been turning back up.

The people bringing it back are older homeowners. Of all the growth in home sharing since 2005, about 61 percent has been in homes owned by someone 65 or older. Today about 1.9 million people live in a home sharing arrangement in a home owned by an older adult. In Oregon, nearly 38,000.

The reason is not hard to find. The bills that come with a house, especially insurance, have climbed faster than the incomes of the people who own them. A spare room is the same answer it was in 1900. What has changed is everything around it.

What was risky then

For most of the last century, letting a room meant putting a card in the window or an ad in the paper and trusting your read of whoever answered. You chose on convenience: who turned up, who could pay, who seemed all right. Whether you could actually live together was something you found out afterwards.

That is the version people are picturing when they say "stranger." It is a reasonable thing to be wary of.

What it looks like now

Home sharing through HomeShare Online works differently at every step, and you are in charge of every one of them.

Everyone is who they say they are. Every member's identity is verified through a third-party provider whose whole business is keeping bad actors off platforms.

Background checks run both ways. A caregiver-grade background check covers criminal records, sex offender registries, abuse and neglect registries, identity, address history and more. You see theirs. They see yours.

You are introduced on how you actually live. Schedules, noise, pets, cooking, guests, whether you want company at dinner or would rather not see anyone before ten. Two people who fit on those things are far more likely to get along than two people who happen to like each other.

You get to know each other first. Messages and video calls happen inside the platform, with your address and contact details private until you both choose to share them. There is no rush.

It is written down. A home sharing agreement, made for shared homes rather than borrowed from an apartment lease, sets out how the house will work: the rent, the kitchen, the guests, the quiet hours, and how either of you can end it.

And nobody decides for you. There is no case manager assigning you a person. The platform gives you what you need to judge a match, and leaves the judgment with you.

The whole process usually takes about three months. By the time someone moves in, you have checked who they are, read their background check, talked for weeks, and agreed in writing how the house will run. That is not a stranger.

What it is not

It is not moving in with a friend. That sounds like it would be easier, and often it is harder. You already like a friend. You find out afterwards whether you can live with them. Home sharing starts with whether you can live together.

It is not care. The person renting your room is not a caregiver. Household help, like yard work or groceries, can be part of your agreement if you both write it down. Personal care should come from a trained, paid professional.

It is not forever. It is one room and one agreement, usually a year at a time. You keep the house, and you keep your options.

If your family has opinions

They usually do, and the worry is usually the same one. Show them this page. Show them the steps. Then let them see what the rent from one room does for your budget, and ask them what the alternative is.

Read next

A Tradition Remembered traces home sharing in your state from 1880 to today.

What a Sale Buys is about the other option many people are weighing: how long the money from selling the house really lasts.

Sources

From the Home Sharing Library

A well-structured home share cannot eliminate risk, but it can reduce some of the conditions in which exploitation goes unnoticed.

"But They're a Stranger." What the Data Says About Who Harms Older Adults

The concern about letting a stranger in deserves a real answer. Here is what research says about who harms older adults, and what careful home sharing can and cannot do about risk.

A background check is one source of information about a person. It is most useful when you know what it searched and read it carefully.

Background Checks and Identity Verification, Explained

What a background check can and cannot show, how to read one, your right to see and dispute a report, and how to verify identity in a home share.

Learn a little more before you share a little more.

From Profile to Front Door, One Step at a Time

How to get to know a possible home sharing match safely, from the first message to the home visit: where to meet, who to bring, what to watch for, and how to say no.